If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize