He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
