The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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