Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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