i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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