alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
