porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
