Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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