I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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