At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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