so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
