She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
