I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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