I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So much rum. So many feels.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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