I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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