Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Operation Purity has been aborted
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
