Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
