the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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