I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
