i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I currently don't understand fingers.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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