Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
