Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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