Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
