you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
