Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
