peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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