you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
