I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
