put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
