I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I didn't notice because vodka
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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