Me too!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
