The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
