I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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