Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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