Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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