Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
