he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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