Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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