if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
