YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Life is so much better after having sex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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