Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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