hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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