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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The Olympian is in my bed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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