i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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