i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
