You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize