***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
