ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
