She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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