i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Small penises have feelings too.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
