hotel room ftw
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How's work?
Spinning.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
