it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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