THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
