went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
