I skipped work to stalk him.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
