I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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