I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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