I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
