I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
