they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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