You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
